"i know, bro, i know"

"i know, bro, i know"

EPISODE 3: ASH CATCHES A POKEMON

EXCERPT: Ash spins around, makes a peace sign and says, “yes we got Pidgeotto” and then Pikachu is all like “pikachu!!!” while also doing a peace sign. “i’m the greatest,” says Ash. “you’re the worst!” says Misty, and she remarks on how awful at pokemon battling Ash is. she has a good point. Misty explains to Ash that bird pokemon are powerful against bug pokemon and that you have to have a good strategy to win a battle. Ash says, “but if you just try hard enough!!” and Misty is like “shut up Ash, you have to be smart, trying hard is a myth, we are the 99%, occupy Veridian City.”

the ghosts of Team Rocket show up with a giant letter R and a bunch of smoke bombs. they recite their motto. it’s worth noting that james’s voice is a lot more low pitched and less campy than he gets in later episodes. more on that later. meowth tells Ash that Pikachu is exceptionally strong for its level, which makes James and Jessie mad. I guess that was supposed to be a secret? not a very good secret.

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a screenshot from “Pokemon Emergency”
the gang of state sponsored pikachus that violently murdered two foot soldiers from a Veridian City crime syndicate, Jessie (age 17) and James (age unknown)
the whereabouts of their ghosts is currently unknown

a screenshot from “Pokemon Emergency”

the gang of state sponsored pikachus that violently murdered two foot soldiers from a Veridian City crime syndicate, Jessie (age 17) and James (age unknown)

the whereabouts of their ghosts is currently unknown

EPISODE 2: POKEMON EMERGENCY

this episode is called “Pokemon Emergency” and that’s also what I named this blog!! this is mostly because all the clever pokemon-related phrases I could think of are already taken on tumblr, but also because “Pokemon Emergency” is just a good combination of words like “Ghost Bong” or “Pizza Beach.” i think this explains why i like chillwave music.

EXCERPT: okay anyway, a phone in the waiting room starts to ring. of note: the video phones in the pokemon center all say “RING RING RING RING RING RING PHONE CALL PHONE CALL” when they ring. so yeah there’s that. Ash answers the call and its Professor Oak. like most older people, Prof Oak cannot even figure out how to work his own video phone properly. once he does, he is pretty much just a condescending tool to Ash and tells him that he’s ‘surprised’ that Ash even made it to Veridian City. this rubs me the wrong way because every teacher i ever had treated me like this and now i have a huge inferiority complex about how ‘inept’ i am. anyway, evidently, Oak bet Gary ‘a million dollars’ that Ash would catch a new pokemon before making it to Veridian City, and when he founds out that Ash didn’t catch a new pokemon yet, he gets really sad. it must suck to have to pay $1,000,000 to your 10-year-old grandson because you lost a bet. Ash tries to tell Oak that he saw a legendary bird pokemon but Oak is all like “lol no way bro” and then leaves to go get his “anchovy, spinach, and pineapple” pizza. jesus, Professor Oak has THE WORST taste in pizza ever.

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EPISODE 1: POKEMON I CHOOSE YOU

EXCERPT: we see Ash watching this battle, putting on his fingerless gloves very deliberately.

seems kind of like a melodramatic thing to do because he is sitting alone in his room watching tv, but Ash is like 10 so i guess it’s ok. i get dressed while watching TV too because i have ADD and i need to be always multitasking. after he puts on his fingerless gloves he announces to no one at all, “yes, i am Ash… and now that i’m 10 i can finally get my pokemon license!!” which again seems a lil weird to me but w/e. next time i am alone watching tv, i will put on some accessories too and be all like “yeah bitch it’s Michelle and now that i’m 23 i can finally stop drinking miller high life” and see what the appeal is.

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